Fan Fiction Readers, You Will Either Love Or Hate Me For This
by TheNewIdea
Summary: Read the disclaimer before actually reading this story. The end joke is making fun of fan fiction readers and their over dedication to reading stories and wasting time on this site. You know it's a time killer and yet you do it anyway. Why? Because it's what you love to do. As do I.


**Disclaimer: This is a joke. Originally this was going to be a serious legitimate story( and it very well might be...hint...hint...), but I decided to do something that I've never done before. By the end of this, you are either going to laugh along with the joke or hate me. Either or will give me satisfaction. So enjoy it for what is it and feel free to send me hail mate through the PM box later. THIS IS A JOKE. I cannot stress that enough.**

Immediately after the destruction of Nibiru...

Shaggy, Velma, Fred and Daphne woke in the Mystery Machine. Everything was the same as before, yet something was different. For one thing, Scooby-Doo was nowhere to be found. Another thing was that everything was for some reason...happy. Not that those things weren't pleasant before, but the sign above Crystal Cove welcoming the visitors reading, "The Happiest Place on Earth" was a big hint that something was different.

Fred turning towards the others had one of his famous strokes of genius, "We should find Scooby" he said, "Gee Fred" Velma exclaimed, "cause that never crossed our minds before." Fred huffed and drove the van down the street, finally stopping in front of the park to begin their search. Shaggy pulled out a dog whistle and blew it, hoping that Scooby would come running at the sound, "Scooby-Doo!" he cried, "Where the hell are you?" Velma and Daphne shrugged and repeated Shaggy's cry, word for word, accidently creating a scene without meaning to.

They began searching every place that the Great Dane could be, checking every pizza parlor, animal shelter, arcade and dessert shop in town. Considering that there was only one of each in all of Crystal Cove, their search was completed in twenty minutes.

It was then that Police Chief John White, accompanied by Mr. Jones, Fred's father, walked up headed towards the pier. "What are you kids doing here?" White joked, "Shouldn't you be cutting the red ribbons, holding the keys to the city and otherwise engaging in celebratory activities?" All of them stared at White as if he were speaking completely gibberish, even Velma was confused, "What does that mean?" they all asked in unison. White turned to Mr. Jones, "Can you believe these guys?" he exclaimed, "They forget that they were put in the Hall of Fame." Mr. Jones laughed in response, "How can you forget that Fred?" he said turning towards his son, "It's only like your guys' greatest accomplishment!"

Fred was completely speechless, for he had always known that his father could personally care less about his mystery solving or any of the others in The Gang for that matter, "Wait" Fred began, "you actually care?" Fred's dad laughed even harder than before and turned back to White, "I love this kid! Always joking around...Shall we continue?" White nodded in agreement, "Of course. To the boats!" White and Mr. Jones then continued down to the pier leaving Fred and the others in completely bewilderment.

"Well that was weird" Shaggy replied, the others nodding in agreement. In the distance, a man, taller than Fred and with a stronger build, was also walking down the street, but this time towards the park. This man was dressed in a casual business wear- button up blue shirt, khaki pants and dress shoes. He was also wearing rimmed glasses and had a similar appearance to Clark Kent with his black hair, chiseled chin and bright blue eyes. This man stood out like a sore thumb in the midst of the more casually dressed tourists and the locals who no longer cared about their appearance, so much so that it caught the eye of Fred, Shaggy, Velma and Daphne. "Who is that?" Velma asked, slightly turned on by the man's appearance, "I don't know" Daphne answered, "but he's sexy." Shaggy and Fred rolled their eyes simultaneously, "Well come on" Fred said almost reluctantly, "let's see if he knows anything."

The man continued walking down the street, with Fred and the others following closely behind him. Shaggy noticed that the mannerisms of this man were strikingly similar to those of Scooby-Doo. His walk, which favored the left side, was relaxed, every step he took his head bobbed slightly up and down as if for some reason gravity was always working against him. Suddenly the man's phone ringed, his ring tone was "Hey Jude" by the Beatles, which happened to be Scooby's favorite song. "No fucking way is that Scooby-Doo" Shaggy said to himself, "no fucking way."

"Scotty here" the man said, "Who is this? Scrappy! So how we doing, heard you got that part in the play...Really, you're playing Tree. Make sure to whack the lead guy so you can steal a kiss...Of course that's what I would do, this is me we're talking here." Shaggy turned to the others; all of them had the same face of 'What the hell is happening' expression. They continued to follow in silence, deciding to wait until the conversation was over to confirm their suspicions. "When's the play? 7:30 tonight..." Scotty looked at his watch, nervously tapping his foot as he did so, "Damn it!" he screamed, a long sigh could be heard from the other end. Scotty immediately shook his head, "No, now listen to me Scraps, I. Will. Be. There. I promise this time. No more late nights at the office, no more business trips, and no more big cases."

Scotty sighed heavily and hung up the phone, only for it to ring one final time. Looking at the caller id, Scotty ignored the call and put the phone back in his pocket. "Damn New York City lawyers" he said to himself, "Always trying to crack down on my ass. A guy can't even make a decent living anymore without the higher ups riding you down." Shaggy, in an attempt to get Scotty's attention, pulled out a box of Scooby Snacks, honestly having no idea if it would work or not, amazingly it did, but not in the way that he expected. At the sound of the treats moving around in the box Scotty froze, "Scooby Snacks...156 calories, 43 trans fat with 5% iron, 10% zinc and the rest high fructose corn syrup coated in a caramelized golden brown." Scotty then turned around and stared face to face with Shaggy, instinctively grabbing the box and throwing them in a nearby alley, "A bane to both humans and dogs alike" Scotty concluded, "glad that Crystal Cove had enough sense to make them illegal, about the only good thing that White ever did if you ask me."

Velma and Daphne couldn't stop staring at Scotty, for to them he was extremely attractive, in fact to anyone he would be attractive. He was the type of guy that men wanted to be and that women wanted to be with. Fred moved forward and extended his hand in greeting, "Fred Jones" he said casually, Scotty took Fred's hand in return, "Call me Scotty." Daphne bit her upper lip, "Scotty's kind of formal isn't it?" she said, trying to draw him in and get him to reveal his name. Scotty laughed at this and rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Alright you got me" Scooby began mockingly, "I'm Mickey Cohen; I run an underground drug trafficking ring and a sex scandal operation. My nephew's real name is Al Capone and I'm trying to have him killed by having him thrown in Alcatraz Prison." Scotty leaned in towards Daphne, accidently getting too close for comfort, "Any more questions sweetheart?"

Shaggy was getting tired of this and so simply decided to cut to the chase, "Are you Scooby-Doo?" Scotty stared at him curiously, "Who's asking? Does someone from my past want me dead or something?" At this Shaggy placed his hand on Scotty's shoulders, "Scooby, it's me Shaggy! Don't you remember me?" Scotty brushed him off, "I've never seen you before in my life. Scooby-Doo was a childhood nickname I had...on account of my damned speech impediment, couldn't even say my own name right. Kept saying Scooby-Doo, instead of Scotty Dunn, to this day I have no idea why. But it's something that I happily grew out of. Now if you don't mind, I've got a play to see and a job that I have to finish before I can do any of that."

Scotty briskly walked away, trying his best to get away from the group, who only continued to follow him. He ducked into a coffee shop and ordered his usual, a large mocha with strawberry cream. Sitting at a table, Scotty pulled out his laptop and began working. Scotty was a criminal defense lawyer, who was currently working on defending one of the most dangerous men in human history against one of the most respected men in all of human history. His defendant, Jonathan Crane, against multi billionaire Bruce Wayne, it would be the case of the century and if Scotty played his cards right could make his career.

Just as he was going over the case notes, Shaggy and the others came in, Scotty saw and them closed his laptop, "You guys following me or something? Cause if you are I'm putting a restraining order on you guys." Fred sighed, "Look Scotty, we just want to talk." Scotty relaxed and gestured to the chairs in front of him, Fred, Shaggy, Velma and Daphne took the cue and sat down. "Okay" Scotty began, "What is this about?" Fred, unsure of how to begin, turned to Velma; unfortunately she was just as clueless. Daphne rolled her eyes in annoyance and took up the mantle.

"Scotty...you're a Great Dane." Daphne said, her voice was serious and harsh. Scotty however, only laughed and ignored her attitude, "You don't know how many times I get told that" Scotty exclaimed, "I may have some...animal tendencies...but I assure you I am very much a human being." Daphne nodded in response, "Really?" she began, "Okay then. What's your favorite color?" Scotty leaned in, tilting his right ear towards Daphne's direction, "Pardon?" he asked, not believing the question, "Did you just ask me what my favorite color was?" Daphne nodded again, Scotty huffed and answered her, "Blue, although I'm impartial to red, green and purple." Before Daphne could ask any more questions, Scotty continued, "Let's see I'm a criminal defense lawyer, my favorite food is a Hero sandwich, I have no friends, I like long walks on the beach and I've always aspired to be Superman." Scotty paused to catch his breath, "Does that cover everything? Or do you have more stupid, pointless questions that need answering? Otherwise leave me alone and let me do my work!"

It was obvious that Scotty wasn't going to be convinced, Shaggy stood up, tears in his eyes and spoke, "Please Scooby...please remember." Scotty huffed, "Again, I don't know you Shaggy. Now kindly leave me alone, I'm very busy." Velma leaned in, trying to pry for information, "What are you working on?" she asked. Scotty scooted back his chair in an attempt to get away from her, "None of you damned business bitch!" he cried defensively, "Sorry about the language, but damn are you people annoying!'What are you working on Scotty?' 'You're a dog Scotty?' Well I've got some questions for you people. Why does it matter who the hell I am? Get your own lives!"

Fred sighed and walked towards the door, the others following him. Scotty huffed and continued to work on his computer, at the same time rapidly scratching behind his ear.

"I just don't understand it" Shaggy said to no one in particular, "how did this happen?" Velma stared at her phone, it was a text from Mr. E. "I think this might explain a few things" she replied, "We created an alternate universe. Crystal Cove is happy and carefree. All the monsters we've ever caught, everything that we ever did, never happened and didn't exist." Daphne nodded in understanding, "That still doesn't explain Scooby-Doo." Velma thought about it long and hard, only managing to come up with one answer, "Scooby must've died in the explosion. Scotty could be a reincarnation." Daphne huffed, "That doesn't make a lot of sense." Velma sighed, extremely annoyed, "Do you have a better explanation?" Silence, "Didn't think so. Until we've come with something, let's just assume that Scotty is, for all extensive purpose, Scooby reincarnated." Fred shook his head in disbelief, "This is goanna be one of those long ass complicated story arcs with numerous plot twists, romantic leads and an annoyingly unexplainable supernatural occurrence that only exists for the sole purpose of confusing readers type of stories isn't it?"

-No. No it's not.

Fred looked up, "Really, and why is that?"

-Because of this...

Fred, Shaggy, Velma and Daphne got in the Mystery Machine and drove off out of Crystal Cove, never to be seen again. As for everyone else. Crystal Cove was subsequently destroyed, killing everyone. In fact, the entire universe for no particular reason, decided to blow up. And yes, the writer is being a jackass right now just to screw readers over, mostly because he hasn't really done it before and had always wanted to.

I just wasted at least ten minutes of your life. Your welcome.

The End


End file.
